A Polarizing Issue

You and I are not going to agree on everything.

[What?]

You may feel very strongly about some random political issue that I, before you mentioned it, had always assumed was the name of a store in the mall. "Proposition 28? I think that's between the Urban Outfitters and the Nuts on Clark."

[A possible disagreement]

You and I will disagree on a favorite band. I probably won't ever tell you that your musical idols are tone deaf losers (PROBABLY) but, let's face it, if your favorite band isn't Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia playing the huge piano at the toy store in the movie "Big," you're totally fucking wrong.

[A respectful disagreement]

You and I might disagree on fashion. I think that this shirt matches these pants but I had three nice ladies approach me on separate occasions today to inform me that the pants, in fact, did not match the shirt. It's nice to know that I'm approachable though...hags.

[They were all wrong]

You might not realize it, but during my meetings, I tend to be the one who speaks. The "speaker," if you will. (I prefer "commander of tidings both awesome and informational"). Sometimes, I take people out to dinner. The dinner meetings are great. Loose schedules and a few drinks have proven to lead to extremely productive meetings. I have eaten at some nice restaurants and have had some very tasty beverages.

[But lunch meetings suck]

You and I will have a productive encounter whether it be at dinner, in a conference room, on an airplane, or during lunch at Applebee's. It's the lunch meeting that I do not enjoy as much as the others. Everyone has to get back to the office, right? Tighter schedules and no drinks make the meeting's effectiveness more challenging. The bill will come and I'll glance down to see my grilled chicken salad (with croutons and dressing on the side) mostly untouched. I haven't eaten my lunch for a few reasons: I've been talking most of the time, I didn't even want the stupid salad, and the dude sitting across from me lets fly a double dose of boneless buffalo wing spittle onto my plate each time he says the word "pharmacy." (It tends to come up in conversation).

[Potential disagreement]

You might think I'm being overly irrational and picky. You might think that the phrase "agree to disagree" is something acceptable to say...ever. You might think that this shirt clashes with these pants.

[Whatever. Stop being such a judgemental dork.]